On the Beach part 2   Key West

There was a light house sitting across the street from Hemmingway’s house, and it is reported that he often remarked that it didn’t matter how messed up he was when leaving Sloppy Joe’s bar, if he could see that light he could find his way home. I’ve seen the times that I wished I’d had a lighthouse in the neighborhood.

There is a big old coral reef about 12 miles out of Key Largo, in the Atlantic Ocean, so we went out to see it on a glass bottom boat. They told us when boarding that there were 3 ft waves at the reef and suggested taking Dramamine, so Avon did. When we reached the breakwater it turned out that there were 8 ft waves out there. That’s when Captain Bob decided to punch it. There were about 50 passengers around the 2 viewing wells at that time and within 2 minutes there were 6. I watched people turn green and head for the deck rails. I didn’t realize that green would show up on African- Americans – but it does. The most exciting color came from 3 Chinese passengers; they literally turned chartreuse. One of them was even neon chartreuse, and he glowed. Avon didn’t get seasick, but she was bounced as much as a foot off her seat. She said that was her last boat ride ever.  

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger….. soon…. Hell’s Gate

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

On the beach:

          For those of you who didn’t know, we’ve just returned from several weeks roaming around Florida and the Alabama coast – you know, warm places. As usual, things happen and things are observed that strike my skewed sense of things human. And I’m going to share them.

Walking around the battlements at the Old Spanish fort in Saint Augustine the wind picked up and there was a little chill in the air, so Avon decided to don a sweatshirt. She pulled it over her head and poked her arms through when all hell broke loose. She had forgotten to take her purse, which was hanging from left to right, off. It reminded me of a monkey trying to get out of a gym-bag.

At Key West, we watched what could be akin to a carnival side show – not the well chronicled parade of sometimes eccentric natives, although they are eccentric, but the parade of tourists. We do make up a bizarre group. The only thing more colorful than the tourists of Key West are the chickens of Key West. They have complete freedom to roam wherever they jolly well feel like. It’s not out of line to have a full grown rooster pecking crumbs at your feet in a sit down restaurant.

More travel news next week.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger….. soon…. Hell’s Gate

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Singles:

          I’ve been married so long, I’m not sure I ever wasn’t. Certain concerns cross my mind regarding my single friends. Oh, I’m not too concerned about the single women; they seem to get along okay on a day-to-day basis. Occasionally they will need someone to move a refrigerator or shovel the drive, but they often hire someone, lean on a brother or nephew, or borrow a husband from a friend. Whereas, men are a whole nuther critter. I don’t know how single men know the little things like, when to get up, what to wear or where to find it, or what to have for dinner. If it were me I’d probably get up when I woke up, and put on whatever I could find. It wouldn’t matter because all my clothes would look the same – rumpled. As for food, that would be simple, I’d alternate pizza and burgers every other night. Things like doctor’s appointments would be scheduled as needed for whatever was hurting. Bills would be paid when I got around to opening the mail. On second thought, maybe the guys get along just fine.        

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger….. soon…. Hell’s Gate

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Our changing language:

          I have found, as I’m sure that many of my friends of the Senior Persuasion have, that our use of certain words has changed. I’m not referring to the annoying new high tech words; I’m talking about the words we used to use, an example would be diaper. I haven’t used that word in who knows how long. To be more specific, I’m also referring to the rougher words that used to roll off the tongue so easily and unexpectedly. Oh some of the minor profanities are still around and often used, but so many of the vulgarities and obscenities have been deleted from our reference file. There is something just not right about hearing an 80-year-old man use certain 4 letter words. Of course, 80-year-old women will use them if someone yells Bingo, but that doesn’t count. There are some words that guys used and thought about often that I haven’t heard used in a sentence for decades. Maybe, like so many other things, we’ve just forgotten them.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger….. soon…. Hell’s Gate

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Tolerance:

          Friends will from time to time ask me if Avon and I get along as well as we appear to. I can honestly say we do. We have a two-way street kind of relationship. Her lane is an expressway, while mine seems to have a lot of Roadwork Ahead signs on it. They also ask if Avon is as tolerant as I portray her. Certainly not, mortal woman has yet to be blessed with that kind of tolerance. I just know how to read the signs in my lane of traffic, so I know when to reduce my speed, come to a complete stop, or start backing up.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger….. soon…. Hell’s Gate

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Go Green:

          As Avon left the house one morning last week, she told me that she was thinking of going green. I absent-mindedly told her, “That’s a good thing to do.” and continued    trying to put a bandaid  on a finger I had just nicked. I thought that was a responsible thing for her to do, as long as it didn’t infringe on any of my personal comforts or environmental abuses.  About a half hour later, it dawned on me that she was going to the hairdresser. Needless to say, I spent a rather anxious hour, wondering if I could adapt to our new green lifestyle…or if I could fawn over her new green locks.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger….. soon…. Hell’s Gate

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

The sounds of youth:

          Leaving a convenient store last week, I was behind two young girls of probable high school age. They were dressed in jeans which were quickly becoming shorter from having their cuffs scraped on the pavement. Both were wearing flip flops despite the 30 degree temperature. As I separated the sounds they made and eliminated their chatter. I heard scrape-scrape – floppity-floppity. But there was another sound as well; one of the girls was dragging her feet, so the sound was scrape-scrape – floppity-floppity – scrape- scrape – scuff-scuff. Suddenly, Floppity snapped at Scuff, “Will you stop dragging your feet? You’re driving me crazy!” It then became scrape-scrape – floppity – scrape – clomp –floppity – clomp – scrape – clomp. The rhythm was gone. The syncopation was lost, but I think I have a better understanding of the roots of Rap.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger….. and now…. Hell’s Gate

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Home improvement projects:

          It seems like I’ve been involved in home projects since we bought our first tiny house way back when. Well, as a matter of fact I have. Home improvement projects are fine when you’re a youngster… like myself, but I’m sure there will come a time when I just won’t be able to muscle those sheets of plywood and drywall around. I was musing about that at Lowe’s the other day and the young associate (what we used to call a clerk) asked me what I was going to do when I reached that point. I said, “Oh, I’ll still come in here about once a week… just to visit my money.”

Available Friday... Feb. 19 on Amazon Kindle

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger….. soon…. Hell’s Gate

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

I'll be offline until 

Thursday Feb. 18

Too much Valentine's celebration.

Thanks for 10,000 page views.

Coming this week

Pre Easter:

          On the morning of Ash Wednesday, I wished Avon a happy Lent, and asked her if I was supposed to get her a gift for the occasion. She said I was, so I wrapped up a hand full of dryer lint in festive paper and gave it to her – she wasn’t thrilled… I didn’t know they were spelled differently.

Roadwork:

          Our roads have taken a real beating this winter. One particular pothole not far from us was a doozie. Everyone was complaining about it, but there wasn’t anything being done about it. As I drove into town yesterday I saw what they had been waiting for. A Cooper Mini had fallen in and they were paving over it.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger….. soon…. Hell’s Gate

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Facial Hair:

            Like most men, I hate to shave. Now you gals don’t start whining about legs and other stuff, and I don’t even want to know anything about waxing, besides you don’t have to do it every day. Shaving is something that for nearly 50 years I have endured daily and hated daily. Sometimes I think I’ll just let it grow and be done with it then I think I’d like something that would make me look more intelligent like a goatee. That certainly wouldn’t hurt my appearance, but I would still have to bother with daily trimming. In addition, I already have the reputation of being an old goat and a goatee would only add fuel to that fire.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger….. soon…. Hell’s Gate

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Nutcrackers:

          I call this segment Nutcrackers because these things will pop your skull open. These quotes are by famous and important people who should know better.

For 16 years in recent history, the US and the world were only a heartbeat away from this.

Dan Quayle said, "I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix.”… and…. 

Al Gore said, "It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it...”

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger….. soon…. Hell’s Gate

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Finding our place:

          Last week, Avon and I went to the local Senior Center to see if we were ready to fit in with that rowdy crowd. We looked around, watched the comings and goings, and in general – people watched. It was rather entertaining, but I had a feeling that it might be too entertaining and I would probably be asked to cancel my membership before long. That feeling bore fruit when I saw a couple walk in; he was carrying a fishing rod. Then he promptly disappeared into the men’s room and never came back out. My mind was consumed by the question of what he might be fishing for in there. Avon pulled me out of there just before I could put that question to his waiting wife – we didn’t join.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger….. soon…. Hell’s Gate

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

From the Editor:

            With St. Valentine’s Day quickly approaching I want to offer some advice to both sexes. To the gentlemen I’d say do your best, try and think like a woman – that’s a hard one, but give it your best effort it could be well worth your time. A fella I once knew got his wife a string trimmer for a Valentine gift; it was red, so he felt pretty good about his romantic self. He doesn’t seem to be married at present. Don’t be like that guy get her something that a girl would like, and if you can’t come up with something at least give her a nice card – they sell them at the Card Outlet for 59 cents. As for the ladies my advice is Don’t Expect Too Much; you knew we were men when you married us.

LB, editor

And now a word from our sponsor.

Coming Soon on a Device Near You.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger…..

 soon…. Hell’s Gate

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Word of the month:

          The word for this month is “Postpone”. Now we all know what it means – or do we? The common usage is to put something off or to do something at a later date. That’s where we’ve been mistaken. I went into some in-depth research on this one and found that it has nothing to do with rescheduling. Here’s what I found. Post: a pole or shaft extending vertically from the ground. Pone: a loaf or cake of bread made from corn meal – in other words cornbread. In my opinion, the two parts can’t make a whole because they just don’t go together. You might as well say bananacement – it would make as much sense. So, the next time you are in a meeting and your boss says something like, “Let’s postpone that issue till later.” You just jump and say, “Ah ha! We can’t do that because that’s not even a real word.” See how that works out on your next evaluation.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’….Now available JL Tate Texas Ranger

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Cheap:

          I’ve often been accused of being cheap, and I guess it’s true. In fact, I’m so cheap I make most of my own greeting cards. What does an average card cost these days – about 3 bucks? If I were being paid minimum wage to make one it would cost about $35.00, but nobody’s paying me so they’re still pretty cheap. Last year, I made a Valentine for Avon. It struck her so funny, and she laughed so hard she almost made herself sick. Sorry, but I can’t share the card with you – it’s way too personal. The way I look at it is, cheap is okay – free is better – giving someone a good inexpensive laugh is priceless!!

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’….Now available JL Tate Texas Ranger

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

We hear what we hear:

          When I was just a tow headed little kid living in the middle of a cotton field, I remember my Granny telling me, “Go wash your neck and ears.” It was said as one word, “neckanears”, and I heard it as a different one word. What I heard was, “Go wash your neckedears.” Can you see the problem here? I figured that if my ears were naked then I would have to wash them, but if they were covered then they could remain dirty. That took place during WW II and all of us kids had those aviator caps with the goggles and earflaps. So when I thought it was getting close to ear washing time I put on my cap and pulled down the flaps – gotcha Granny. It didn’t work, I was tugged to the wash pan by a then neckedear and they were scrubbed for me – none too gently. It has never been easy to be me.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’….Now available JL Tate Texas Ranger

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Lost Treasures:

          Have you ever had one of those really heavy winter coats? You know the ones that you only get to use maybe once or twice every other year. When you put it on you find things in the pockets that you thought you had lost forever. You find things like your favorite ballpoint pen, a piece of half wrapped candy which you are tempted to eat, your missing Chap Stick, or that TV remote that drove you crazy for a month a  year ago. What will drive you even crazier is when you try to remember why you put a remote in your coat pocket in the first place.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’….Now available JL Tate Texas Ranger

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Sweaty shirt:

          As I look around the fitness center, I see people really putting in the effort, which is noted by the dark perspiration splotches on their shirts. Those guys are sweating like pigs, and those ladies are glowing like streetlights. Either, I’m not working hard enough or I don’t sweat well enough because my shirts never show the splotches. So, I’ve devised a plan to stain a few shirts with well placed dark splotches just to give the impression that I’m getting it on because I sure don’t intend to work any harder than I already do. I think I’ll dust off the old airbrush.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’….Now available JL Tate Texas Ranger

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw