Kids:

If I ever have another son, I’m going to name him Bart… Bart Bradshaw kinda has a certain ring to it doesn’t it? But wait there’s more. My mother was a Simpson, so I thought it would be nice to use that old family name, since I never honored it in any other way. So how does Bart Simpson Bradshaw sound to you? I figure it would give him something to live up to.

When I first came across Bart Simpson I felt a certain kinship between us and thought he must be a reincarnation of one of my ancestors. My father, my son, and I all seem to have what I call the Why Not gene. The only difference between them and me is they seemed to get caught with every escapade, and I never did… not once!

I may pass one some of those Why Not moments on, as soon as I can make sure all the Statutes of Limitations have expired… I have to check with at least 3 states… Stay tuned.

Why I only sell my books through Amazon Kindle.

I was recently notified that Kindle will be celebrating Independent (indie) Publishers like me. And they have selected 5 of my earlier works to be featured during the celebration this month. They can be found by using the link below.

 #PoweredByIndie    www.amazon.com/poweredbyindie

Amazon Kindle Direct Publishing (KDP) and I first met about three and a half years ago, and it was Love at First Sight. At least it was on my part, although KDP seems happy to be in the relationship. I had written my first book in 2006 and spent at least 4 years trying to find an agent and sending out hundreds of query letters. Of course I was disappointed; after all, I would have liked to have sold a few books.

Then KDP came along. They didn’t seem concerned that my 70th year was in my past, nor did they stress over the fact that I had no professional writing resume. In essence they took the attitude of “Let’s see what you’ve got, big boy”. They were willing to give me a chance. If I produced a product that folks wanted to read, the books would sell, if not they wouldn’t. As it turned out, an overwhelming number of people wanted to read them.

I still don’t have an agent, nor do I need or want one. When I get query emails from agents, I delete them. These past three and a half years have been some of the most exciting years of my life. There are times I’m almost tempted to pinch myself to make sure it’s not a dream. As of this post I have fifteen books on KDP and all are doing very well. I can’t predict the future, but hopefully Amazon KDP and I will work together for a long long time.

I would like to thank all my wonderful readers for your loyalty and support. I never use the term “Fans” when speaking of my readers…. I consider you to be Friends I haven’t met yet.

Gambling:

We went to the casino yesterday, even though I'm not much of a gambler, I still like to go. I always figure, if I had enough money to throw around, there wouldn't be much thrill in winning more. And if I couldn't afford to lose any, what was I doing there? But I do like all the bells, whistles, lights and watching people pull their hair out in despair.

I also like to watch people go through their good luck routines, and I like the buffet. But I especially like the cocktail waitresses. One of them was so cute and sweet, I asked her if she'd like to meet my grandson. She said she would like that, but her husband might not approve. The lovely Avon gave me a look that I'm sure left a permanent scar on my soul.... so I went back to playing the penny slots.

Life is much too short to be taken seriously.

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger…..  Hell’s Gate…. Arizona….and now…..Texas War Lord

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Failing Memory…

           

            Almost all the things I’ve written about in the nearly 600 blog posts I’ve made over the past few years have been taken from life. I lived and survived a lot of nonsense in my time. They’ve been all logged and put on a password protected flash drive. The problem I’ve run into is things will pop into my head, and I’ll think    Hey! That would make a great blog post. Then I’ll wonder if it’s something I’ve already used.

           

The logical thing to do is insert the flash drive into the computer and check it out…. Here comes….

Problem #2. I forgot the password, but I wrote it down and put it in an envelope. Good idea … right?

Problem #3. I forgot where I put the envelope.  I could always take the flash drive to my computer nerd and have him hack it out for a small fee.

Problem #4. I forgot where I put the flash drive.

So let’s just say I go ahead and use something that I’d posted 2 or 3 years ago… would I have to worry about being sued by me for plagiarism or copyright infringement?    

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger…..  Hell’s Gate…. Arizona….and now…..Texas War Lord

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Food and the Taste of it:

I’ve found through the years that our (my) tastes have changed greatly. There was a time when meat was only cooked one way… it was fried to death. It started as something pink or red or white. It was soft and somewhat floppy. But when it was ready for the table it was dark brown bordering on black. I could never figure out why you’d put a piece of meat into a frying pan full of grease and then cook all the grease out of it, so what you had left was a frying pan full of grease and a hockey puck stuck to the bottom. 

I never saw anything but a wood burning cook stove until I was 7, so I’m sure lack of temperature control had to have something to do with some of that. That’s just the way things were back in the day. That’s how things were cooked and that’s how my tastes developed. It took me a long time to learn the truth that charred morsels were not vitamins, nor would they make my hair curly. I was pretty naïve back in those days.

Little by little my tastes have changed, but I still don’t have many who are eager to come over for a cookout especially if I’m doing the cookouting. Now, I still haven’t even given things like sushi and raw oysters the time of day, but I will allow a little pink to show up in a piece of beef.    

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger…..  Hell’s Gate…. Arizona….and now…..Texas War Lord

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

  

Guest Blogger for today

Crusty Old Dusty.

            My old sidekick Lou and his lovely misses Avon are off on another honeymoon trip…I reckon he didn’t get it right 51 years ago. Anyway, he asked me to kinda come over and feed Bob…. Crusty old Midnight Bob that is. Bob is a scrawny old black tomcat that stopped by the place a bunch of years ago lookin’ for a handout. Well the ol’ skudder just kept coming back. Lou can pet him but only on Bob’s terms, which usually includes a strip of bacon. But there ain’t nobody else can touch him.

            Now Bob’s a longtime hunter and keeps the mice, chip monks, and snakes at bay, so it kinder works out for both of them, unless someone happens to step on him in the dark… ‘cause Lord knows you can’t see him there layin’ on the porch. And he wouldn’t come inside if it was thirty below and 6 feet of snow outside. Lou said he wouldn’t come inside, unless he signed over the deed to the place, and Avon wouldn’t go for that.

            So I come over to the place, and I was just standin’ there watchin’ ol’ Bob eatin’ his kibbles and grits…. Bob favors grits and an occasional pork chop. But a neighbor complained that Bob was tryin’ to tree his 400 pound boar hog. So Lou cut out the pork chops. Anyway, it was rainin’ and I was standin’ there watchin’ him eat, when a young jackrabbit come boundin’ into Bob’s line of sight.

            Now Bob don’t care a whole lot for water, other than to drink it. So he watches that jackrabbit, and the jackrabbit froze and was lookin’ at him. Bob looked at him then he looked at me, as if to say… “Well?” I looked at ol’ Bob, I looked at that jackrabbit, I looked at the rain, and I looked at my old rundown boots and said, “What?”

            My boots should be dry by the time Lou and the missus get home. He’s gonna owe me. 

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Now on Amazon Kindle

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger…..  Hell’s Gate…. Arizona….and now…..Texas War Lord

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

What’s the purpose?     

Just exactly what is the Pinky Toe there for? Academians (that’s another word for smart folks) tell us that it is there primarily for balance. It seems they believe we would tip over if that little toe wasn’t there to prevent it.  There may be some of truth in what they say, after all they are smart.

But I believe they have a much more important purpose. And after many years of exhaustive and painful research and trials performed in my own kitchen and bedroom and even in the bathroom, I believe I’ve found the true purpose of those Petite Pedal digits, or (little foot fingers) for the layman. They were put there by our Creator as a way to feel really alive with all senses on full alert. Because when you are roaming around in the dark of night barefooted and that little pinky toe finds a piece of furniture that shouldn’t be there… you are suddenly experiencing life. It may not be your most pleasant experience, but you are certainly alive at that moment…even if you don’t want to be.   

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Now Available on Amazon Kindle

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger…..  Hell’s Gate…. Arizona….and now…..Texas War Lord

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

I love New York....sort of

Actually, I don't really love New York City. I've only been there once, and that was when I was 17. I had taken a summer job on a moving van and we spent about a week there. It was a culture shock for a kid from a little bitty midwest town.

But I really do love NY state. It has some of the most beautiful scenery you'll find anywhere. I was blown away by Niagara Falls, and I would have loved Woodstock if I'd been there... Oh Yeah. Cooper's Town was something to see with the hall of fame and the home of James Fenimore Cooper.

But my favorite New York thing is a New York Strip steak.... Not to be confused with a New York Stripper... you gotta love them too. But a fine cut of meat is going to get a fella in a whole lot less trouble than a fine artistic dancer, no matter well she can swing around on a brass pole.

Just out 

Available on Amazon Kindle.

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger…..  Hell’s Gate…. Arizona.... And now…Texas War Lord.

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

The Washington Post’s Loss is your gain:

The Washington Post has a number of reader contests every year. One in particular has caught my interest and for the past 5 years I have been trying to pass myself off as a reader, so I can enter. But for the past 5 years they have denied me an entry claiming I’m not a subscriber nor was I smart enough to read the Post…. Well I reckon both are true.

The competition in question is a word distortion thing. The rules (besides being a reader) are you take one or more words and distort them to come up with something completely different… the wackier the better.

For instance if I came up with the word… Coppermouthrattlemoccosin… that would be any snake my wife happened to see in our yard.

Or if I were to come up with a Trojanpony… that would be just a little trick… Well you get the idea.

The word I was going to send this year before they started blocking my emails is Peacharrhea …. That’s an uncomfortable but non-life threatening condition that seems to show up every year, when fresh fruit is readily available.

Life is much too important to be taken seriously

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger…..  Hell’s Gate…. And now…Arizona.

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Early Morning Drama:

I’m an early riser. I like to get outside close to daybreak because there’s generally no one to bug me, and I sometimes spook a deer or some other creature. This morning I opened the door and saw two rabbits going round and round my neighbor’s forsythia bush. I almost yelled for them to get a room, but then I saw two other things zipping about overhead.

Two peregrine falcons were buzzing the forsythia with intent to do breakfast. I’d never seen two falcons hunting together, but there they were. Soon the bunnies made a break for it. One went north and the other went east. The northbound bunny almost made it to the well house with some tricky maneuvers, but not tricky enough.

The eastbound bunny was a little more fortunate and found cover. I saw the number two peregrine make a number of passes, and I was amazed at the aerobatics. When in a full dive mode they can come in at almost a hundred miles an hour…. That’s like getting hit with a Randy Johnson fastball, if you remember that incident.

Finally, the hapless second falcon rose up and left the chase. He made a loop and shot through my trees cursing and swearing. I don’t know anything about air traffic control, but I’d swear he was on a direct line for the nearest I Hop and their pancake special…. Hey, breakfast is breakfast.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger…..  Hell’s Gate…. And now…Arizona.

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Family matters:

When a couple gets married, they unwittingly marry the whole shebang. In some cases that can be an overwhelming adventure. You think about how simple it should be… you gain a few in-laws, and you already know them fairly well… sort of. But then, up pops Uncle Felix and Great Aunt Ninny, and then you try to explain that Aunt Ninny really isn’t your aunt but your third cousin. And who knows what Uncle Felix is…. he’ll be out in about 8 years and we’ll ask him.

My lovely wife’s family was easy. They came from Poland in the early 20^th Century, and many could still speak the language. They were not without some strange characters, but an uncle was an uncle and a cousin was just that. Of course I couldn’t pronounce any of the surnames, but that was okay.

My family on the other hand arrived in the mid 1600s from England, and with the state of disfavor the Bradshaw name was in… some were surely on the run. That gave them about 350 years to really get things screwed up. So when I tell my son that Aunt Ethel isn’t really his aunt but his Great Uncle, who was named “Aunt Ethel”. I get that look that says, “Am I supposed to get this?”

I’m relatively certain that my family was the inspiration for Abbott and Costello’s “Who’s on First” routine.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger…..  Hell’s Gate…. And now…Arizona.

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Close encounter of the 4^th of July kind:

As did thousands of people here in the Ozarks, my neighbor put on a fireworks display in his front yard. He chose his front yard because the rest of the property is either a pasture or wooded. We sat on our front porch and watched it all unfold… and it was quite a show, until one of those big boomers tipped over and sent a fireball sideways through our front yard at about 5 feet off the ground missing everything, but it continued down the road. I know it traveled over three hundred feet because that’s how wide my frontage is.

To make matters even more exciting, a car was coming down the next hill. It was one of those times when you can see something unfold, and there’s not a thing you can do about it.  I’m sure the driver of that little car was jamming on the brakes and saying words he never learned at his mother’s knee. The fireball hit the pavement and became airborne again before it exploded into a zillion stars well above the car.

I don’t know what kind of car that was, but it sat there for nearly a minute before it started backing slowly up the hill. I guess the driver’s destination didn’t seem important to him anymore. I could see the headlights for at least a quarter mile before it turned and went the other way.

There would be no way of knowing how many people were in that car, but I’d bet $10 there was at least one wet spot in the upholstery.

Don't miss the latest from Cain

available on Amazon Kindle

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger…..  Hell’s Gate…. And now…Arizona.

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

One of those head scratching moments:

            For a number of years, I was a member of a local co-op art gallery here in Ozark. All the members were required to work so many hours each month. So I was manning the gallery one afternoon, when one of our new members came in and wanted me to show her the ropes. That was fine because it wasn’t busy at that time... or any other time.

            She was a nice looking well preserved young senior about my age, and our conversation was casual and friendly. I walked her down one aisle and up another telling about each particular artist and commenting on their strengths while ignoring their weaknesses. We had stopped at a relatively good landscape, when out of nowhere she said,

            “Not tonight…. I have a headache.” Silence was the loudest thing in the building for about a half minute and then she said,

“Now, where the hell did that come from?”

I often wonder if there is an unseen imp floating around out there directing those people to me. If so, that’s all right because I speak their language.

Have a safe and happy Independence Day… and remember how you got the holiday.

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger…..  Hell’s Gate…. And now…Arizona.

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

A Creative Writing Lesson:

I’m often asked, “Is it hard to write a book?” The answer is no. Writing in the 21^st Century takes three main ingredients… #1. You will need a computer…with a keyboard (working without the keyboard makes for a long day).  #2. You will need plenty of caffeine. Coffee is the most convenient delivery method. You can take it intravenously, but that leaves holes in your body.  #3. You will need some imagination. This last part is kind of important, and it’s not readily available at most major retailers.

So when you’re all ready to go, all you have to do is sit down at your computer with a cup of coffee and start making stuff up…. That’s it.

Oh yeah… one more thing… Time. You’ll need to set aside a little time to stir those ingredients well and let them simmer… It usually takes me about 500 hours to write a western. Good Luck.

I'll try to post on here 2 or 3 times a week. If you want to be notified when a post is up... 

just click on follow. Thanks, Lou.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Don't forget old Shad Cain is out there somewhere stranded in the desert.

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger…..  Hell’s Gate…. And now…Arizona.

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw