Face Flex:

          The other day Avon looked at me and asked me what was wrong.  “Nothing.” I said. Of course, she wasn’t buying any of that, so she kept after me trying to get an answer. My answer remained the same, “Nothing.” How many times over the past 49 years and 357 days had the shoe been on the other foot and I would hear, “Nothing.” Sweet revenge – I loved it.

          Actually, there was nothing wrong. She had just caught me practicing my scowl; I use it so seldom that I forget how to do it.

Truths:

Miscellaneous: A smile is something everybody everywhere does in the same language.     Wooden Ships by Crosby, Stills & Nash

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Famous quote by Lou Bradshaw

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain…. and coming soon…Spirit Valley

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

How to speak Missouri:

          First of all, you have to be able to pronounce it. Missouri is pronounced just like it is spelled, with an i at the end not an a. There seems to be one small town in the center of the state that pronounces it with an a, and it has infected many people from other states. Missouri is a very difficult dialect and must be taken in small doses. So we will start with the English word “you” and explore the various forms of it. If we divide the state into 4 geographic units we can explore the differences.

North of the Missouri River: You (singular) You (plural) Yours (possessive) just like regular English – a most uninteresting part of the state.

St. Louis & Kansas City:  You (singular) Youse (2 people) Youse Guys (more than 2people) Yourses (singular possessive) Yourse Guyses (plural possessive).

South of the Missouri River: You  (singular) You-uns (2 people - pronounced yuns) You-unes (more than 2 people) Yournses (singular or plural possessive)

Boot Heel: You-un (singular - pronounced U.N.) You-uns You-all (2 people – you-all is pronounced as 2 words) You-allses (possessive). There is no word for more than 2 people since few Boot Heelers can count that far.

          The difficulty with Missouri’s Dialects, or Mo-talk, stems from the fact that most of our ancestors immigrated from Kentucky, Tennessee, and Georgia. Those people haven’t spoken English for several centuries.

          While putting this piece together, my computer fought me on every word. It got so frustrated that I got an email from Bill Gates threatening to have me committed if I didn’t stop the insanity. In other words, Missouri words were driving Microsoft Word bonkers.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Famous quote by Lou Bradshaw

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain…. and coming soon…Spirit Valley

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Doctor Love: This letter is from Janice in Atlanta:

          Dear Dr. Love, My husband is 30 years older than me and is a very successful businessman. I live in the lap of luxury with servants, jewels, and exclusive memberships. He works long into the night and sometimes he comes home smelling of cheap perfume and gin. I have also found feminine garments in his car. Should I leave him?

          Dear Janice: So, you’re married to an old, hard working, sneak drinking, cross dresser, with poor taste in after-shave, who is extremely generous. I don’t understand your problem, lady. 

And I did it my way:

          A friend saw me doing something not particularly  smart one day and said, “I never thought I would ever see you doing something like that.” I thought – Just stick around, my friend, you’ll be able to write a book. 

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Famous quote by Lou Bradshaw

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain…. and coming soon…Spirit Valley

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Physically pitiful:

          When our new community center opened, Avon was quick to sign us up for membership, which meant the dreaded gym. So with gym bag in hand and a gun pointed at my head, I went. I even took on a personal trainer. Her name is Fi-Fi LaTorso, which is French for “Oooo-La-La.” I wanted to come an hour later one day and she said she couldn’t switch because her next client was a very important Texas oil billionaire who flew in from Dallas for each appointment, and he needed a lot of help. As I was leaving I bumped into Uncle Ed grinning like a moron, wearing his high school gym shorts, a 10 gallon hat, and cowboy boots.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Famous quote by Lou Bradshaw

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain…. and coming soon…Spirit Valley

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Therapy

               I don’t really need a shrink, but he’s a nice guy and I’ve convinced him that I’m a loony. So he told me that I needed to get in touch with my feminine side… I didn’t know I had one, but he seemed to think it was an important thing to do. So I obliged him and did some pondering on it. The next session I went back and told him that I had done it and had come to a greater understanding of the female of our species. He thought that was marvelous, he felt I was making real progress.

I told him my conclusion was that I really liked women a lot and that they were my favorite opposite sex. I hate to see a grown man weep, so I dried his tears and told him I’d give it another try.  He said I should try to think like a woman… is that really possible?

So I came back the following week and told him that I’d made a breakthrough and found that I really liked shoes. He got really excited and asked me to tell him all about my shoe collection.

“Well,” I said, “I’ve got three pair… I have dress shoes, golf shoes, and an 8 year old pair of Reeboks.” I’ve got to start bringing a big box of Kleenex to those sessions.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Famous quote by Lou Bradshaw

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain…. and coming soon…Spirit Valley

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Old Ironsides

               The lovely Avon and I took a little ride up to Boston some years ago, and of course we did all the tourist stuff and the walking history lesson. One of the things we most wanted to see was Old Ironsides..aka… the USS Constitution at the Boston Navy Yard. Those heavy oak timbers would bounce the British cannon balls off like they were made of iron… hence the nickname. We just arrived and were headed for rest rooms, when a loaded tour bus from some VFW chapter in Indiana rolled in

               There wasn’t a soul on board less than 80 years old of either gender. But watching those old gals scamper for the rest rooms you’d have thought a herd of gazelles had burst out of those bus doors. The old guys were a bit slower and that meant the men’s room was taken over by the ladies, while the fellas lined up outside and grumbled…. Finally one of them said, “Oh hell! If they ain’t seen it by now, it’s high time they did.” And in they went, with me right in the middle of them.

               Those gals started yellin’ and using language their preachers had never heard. But they took off. When it came my turn, I realized that I was wearing a brand new pair of 501 Levis…button ups and stiff as a board. I couldn’t get them unbuttoned if my life depended on it… and it did. The old WW II Vets with their enlarged prostates behind me started grumbling and then yelling. I was sweating and wishing I was in Kentucky or Colorado, or Timbuktu. For all I knew those old boys were still packing their baronets. All I could do was get out of there and look for a gas station… or maybe the Ironsides had a working head…. It didn’t.... I suppose that's why they had a poop deck.

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio   And now….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Opinion Survey:

          I got a questionnaire in the mail from the Oklahoma Highway Dept. wanting to know how I liked their rest areas. How would I know, I’ve never seen one. I’ve criss crossed the state many times and never found one operated by the state. McDonalds has some fairly functional ones on the turnpike, but none on the interstate. All I know is if you leave Okalahoma City without stopping, you had better be able to hold it until you reach Texas.

I was just wondering:

          Do you suppose Barack Obama has to go out on the front porch of the White House, and stand around with the tourists from Indiana, Tennessee, or Iowa to smoke a cigarette?  

Words of Wisdom:
        A man is never more truthful than when he acknowledges himself a liar.    Mark Twain
                                                                                          

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio   And now….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

An uneven swap:

          A farmer down the road has kept peacocks for a number of years. If you have only seen pictures of peacocks and never been around them much, then you probably don’t know that they have one of the most incredibly loud calls ever put into a bird of any kind or size. It sounds like 2 Tom Cats blowing a trumpet and a clarinet in a rain barrel. They can easily be heard from a quarter of a mile away. Lately I hadn’t heard them, and I was wondering what had happened to them. This morning, I walked out on the deck and got a full blast of something even louder and more obscene. That fool has given up on peacocks and taken up with Jackasses.

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio   And now….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Blogs:

          Nearly 8 years ago, when I started my first nonsensical endeavor, I debated whether to do a newsletter or a blog. To be perfectly candid, I chose the newsletter format first  because the word,”Blog” scared me to death. I had visions of big high voltage creatures crawling out of my computer and devouring everything in southern Missouri. Then they would fly off into cyber space and into unsuspecting computers all over the world. I saw something like that in the movie, “The Blob” with Steve McQueen years ago, only it involved a swamp and other creepy stuff. Actually, the movie wasn’t anything like my vision. But to err on the side of caution, I perform certain Voo Doo rituals after I hit publish, to make sure no slimy swamp things are sent along the information highway.

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio   And now….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Dogs:

          As a general rule, I like most dogs as long as they don’t bite, lick, jump, or drool on me. I’m not crazy about yappers, ugly dogs, or stupid dogs. One of our neighbors has 3 or 5 or 7 dogs; I’m not sure how many. I can count 3 but it sounds like 7. Their house is about 150 yards from ours, and there is a valley between the houses. The other day, I was working in that valley and the dogs started barking. It was pure bedlam. I’d never heard such a racket, and then it dawned on me the sound was coming from both my left and my right. Their barking was bouncing off our house and coming right back too them. It would be the equivalent of a person talking to himself and answering. He would be labeled as crazy or eccentric. In my unprofessional opinion those dogs were yelling at themselves and then yelling back, which would also make them crazy, eccentric, or at least stupid. As I stated in the second line of this paragraph, I don’t care much for stupid dogs.

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio   And now….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

 Grocery store surprise:

          When the lovely Avon got home from a last minute stop at the grocery store, she found 2 cans of pumpkin filling among her other items. She hadn’t put them in the cart and had no idea how they got there. The only thing we could figure was that someone had put them in her cart by mistake. It wasn’t worth going back to the store to return them, so they went into the pantry where they stayed for months. Since she didn’t bake pies, she fretted about those cans, until I told her she could use them to make other dishes. I suggested things like pumpkin pudding, pumpkin lasagna, pumpkin cacciatore, and when I got to pumpkin on a shingle one of the cans came flying in my direction.

          She seems to have a low tolerance for creative pumpkin BS.

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio   And now….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Knowing ones place:

          One day last month, I opened the pantry door and …Glory be, there was every kind of snack and goody staring back at me. My first thought was, she does love me after all. No sooner had my eyes beheld and sent such wonders to my brain, my ears were getting and sending another message to my brain, it was saying, “Those snacks are for Bunko. Stay out of them.”… and it sounded just like Avon’s voice. There it was right out in the open – she liked her Bunko buddies better than she liked me. At least she gave me a choice this time as to where I could be during her party. Normally I spend it locked in a downstairs closet with a coloring book and a box of broken Crayolas…in the dark. This time I chose to get out of Dodge!

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio   And now….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Knowing ones place:

          One day last month, I opened the pantry door and …Glory be, there was every kind of snack and goody staring back at me. My first thought was, she does love me after all. No sooner had my eyes beheld and sent such wonders to my brain, my ears were getting and sending another message to my brain, it was saying, “Those snacks are for Bunko. Stay out of them.”… and it sounded just like Avon’s voice. There it was right out in the open – she liked her Bunko buddies better than she liked me.

 At least she gave me a choice this time as to where I could be during her party. Normally I spend it locked in a downstairs closet with a coloring book and a box of broken Crayolas…in the dark. This time I chose to get out of Dodge!

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio   And now….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Our changing language:

          Because of technology, our languages (world wide) are rapidly being revised. 30 years ago, you wouldn’t find things like Upload or Download in anyone’s dictionary, but today they are standard speak, although, I don’t know the difference between them. I do remember Offload from way back when – that’s how you get cargo from an airplane to the ground. Even those fluent in tech-eze are having trouble keeping up. They are inventing and creating things so fast that they can barely get it named before the ink on the patent application is dry. The word that has kept me off balance for several years, (that’s about how long it has been in use) is Viral. I’ve missed a lot of good U-Tube videos because they were described as “Viral” and I thought that meant they were infected. I was afraid my computer monitor would turn green, slime would oooze from the keyboard, and the URL (whatever that is) would grow teeth and eat my desk.

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio   And now….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Investment opportunity:

          Once again, I have an invention idea that I’m sure will make millions if not billions. It’s a true ground floor opportunity. My goal is to have it on the market before cold weather hits us. Last December, with winter approaching and the temperatures dropping I naturally became concerned with the comfort of the counter-gender or the ladies if you will. I know how uncomfortable it is walking out into a single digit blast of cold air. I can’t imagine how harsh that must feel to some of the more sensitive areas. I wanted to make it all better, so I have designed something to make their lives more pleasant – A Thermal Bra. The design work is almost finished except for finding an unobtrusive place to hide the batteries. I plan to call this marvel The Cup Cozy.

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio   And now….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Big Rivers:

          I have often wondered about the names of the two major rivers that dissect our country. I know the names are of Indian origin, and I know what they mean, but my questions go deeper. For instance, would Mississippi’s husband be Mister Sippi? And is Ms Ouri a single lady, or did she decide to keep her own name? Or, is she a proponent of getting rid of the Mrs. thing all together? Life is confusing enough without all these questions that keep landing on my doorstep.

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio   And now….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Have you ever?

          Have you ever done something so stupid that it makes you were compelled to smack your forehead and go Aggghhh?

          Have you ever – gotten a traffic ticket and as the officer handed you the ticket you say, ”Thank you”?

          Have you ever – misplaced your sunglasses and put on another pair only to find that you spent the afternoon wearing one pair in the traditional place and another pair on top of your head?

          Have you ever – found yourself getting tickled while making a formal presentation because you caught yourself starting to use the term, “monkey crap”, as a descriptive adjective?

          Have you ever – been walking down a hall in an office building alone and decided that your fly needed checking, only to find a receptionist watching you through the window of the office you were planning to go into? Did you change plans and keep on going?

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio   And now….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

The way it was:

          I recall hearing the old folks talk about paying a doctor bill with chickens, geese, ducks, or eggs. It would cost so many chickens for a house call or 2 ducks, a goose, and a weeks worth of eggs to set a broken bone. Sadly, those days are gone forever. I guess the cost of a medical education and expensive technology has made it impossible for a doctor to accept such poultry sums.

Don’t try this at home or anywhere:

            Have you ever been walking along minding your own business and come to the top of a hill where you pause to take a deep breath… and inhale a bug? And as you are choking and gagging and trying to get that thing out of there you keep wondering what kind of bug it is.

It doesn’t matter it’s a bug.

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio   And now….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Say again:

          Yesterday morning, while in the fitness center locker room, one of the members was haranguing another about politics and religion – 2 subjects I never discuss with strangers or people I know. I could see the haranguee getting dressed as quickly as possible to the point of just stuffing things in his bag. When he left, the haranguer turned to me and asked what church I went to. I said, “Yep. It sure is hot out there, and that wind must be blowing at 50 miles an hour.” He finished up and left before I could ask him if he saw the special on the Playboy Channel last night.

A senior poem:

                    Roses are red

                    Violets are…. something…something…something…

                    Some more ... something.... something....something....

                    And so do you.

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio   And now….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

The high cost of entertainment:

          Earlier this week I was reading and article about the problems of sexually transmitted diseases in Uganda in the April 1988 issue of National Geographic. I’m a little behind, but I’m catching up. A government official summed up the problem by saying, “A man has a wife, a woman has a husband, and they both have many good friends. They have no television or other entertainment, so what else is there to do?” I had always wondered what people did before TV came along.

Red Headed Kids:

            There is something about a little girl with red hair that is so cute you just want to pick her up and squeeze her.

            There is something about a little boy with red hair that is so full of meanness and orneriness that it makes you want to go cut a switch and tan his hide.

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio   And now….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Rotate your stuff:

          Any grocer will tell you to rotate your stock. That way the older goods are pulled to the front and the newer stock is in the rear. Of course, I always reach in and take the stuff from the back of the shelf. I rotate the things I use in my daily life, such as pillows, brushes, ballpoint pens, and almost everything else. But for some reason, I have never thought to rotate my socks. I just put them in there. The other day, I was going through the sock drawer and found that I had what seemed like hundreds of pairs of raggedy old white crew socks and way down at the bottom were two brand new pair. Since I’ve been wearing the same kind for 30 years, I have no idea where those two pairs came from or how long they have been there. They could be 15 or 20 years old. For all I know they could have come with the drawer. There’s nothing sadder than an obsessive compulsive slacker.

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio   And now….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

The new room:

          The long awaited grand opening of the new bathroom has arrived at last. It’s finally finished, and you're all invited to try it out. Just bring your own soap, towels, razors, and any necessary paper products. I’ll provide the hot and cold water.

The new room:

          The long awaited grand opening of the new bathroom has arrived at last. It’s finally finished, and you’re all invited to try it out. Just bring your own soap, towels, razors, and any necessary paper products. I’ll provide the hot and cold water.

Caught in the net:     

It’s the time of year when the spiders are spinning webs everywhere, and as I walk around the place I keep running into them and keep swearing and trying to get them off of me. I came into the house yesterday just fuming about them and Avon said, “Why don't you knock them down?” And I replied, “I have been – I’m knocking them down with my face!” 

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio   And now….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

In the not so near future:

Imaging that the year was 2508 and a team of archeologist was digging up the remains of Springfield, Missouri: specifically the pond area on Syler’s Golf Course (lovingly known as the Goat Farm). Think of the excitement when they found what must have been a communal brooding area of a highly intelligent species of reptile. They were so far advanced that they marked and labeled their eggs for identification. The scholars would be marveling over eggs with markings that read Titelist 3, Callaway 2, Nike 4, and Top Flite 1.

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio   And now….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw