I love New York....sort of

Actually, I don't really love New York City. I've only been there once, and that was when I was 17. I had taken a summer job on a moving van and we spent about a week there. It was a culture shock for a kid from a little bitty midwest town.

But I really do love NY state. It has some of the most beautiful scenery you'll find anywhere. I was blown away by Niagara Falls, and I would have loved Woodstock if I'd been there... Oh Yeah. Cooper's Town was something to see with the hall of fame and the home of James Fenimore Cooper.

But my favorite New York thing is a New York Strip steak.... Not to be confused with a New York Stripper... you gotta love them too. But a fine cut of meat is going to get a fella in a whole lot less trouble than a fine artistic dancer, no matter well she can swing around on a brass pole.

Just out 

Available on Amazon Kindle.

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger…..  Hell’s Gate…. Arizona.... And now…Texas War Lord.

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

The Washington Post’s Loss is your gain:

The Washington Post has a number of reader contests every year. One in particular has caught my interest and for the past 5 years I have been trying to pass myself off as a reader, so I can enter. But for the past 5 years they have denied me an entry claiming I’m not a subscriber nor was I smart enough to read the Post…. Well I reckon both are true.

The competition in question is a word distortion thing. The rules (besides being a reader) are you take one or more words and distort them to come up with something completely different… the wackier the better.

For instance if I came up with the word… Coppermouthrattlemoccosin… that would be any snake my wife happened to see in our yard.

Or if I were to come up with a Trojanpony… that would be just a little trick… Well you get the idea.

The word I was going to send this year before they started blocking my emails is Peacharrhea …. That’s an uncomfortable but non-life threatening condition that seems to show up every year, when fresh fruit is readily available.

Life is much too important to be taken seriously

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger…..  Hell’s Gate…. And now…Arizona.

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Early Morning Drama:

I’m an early riser. I like to get outside close to daybreak because there’s generally no one to bug me, and I sometimes spook a deer or some other creature. This morning I opened the door and saw two rabbits going round and round my neighbor’s forsythia bush. I almost yelled for them to get a room, but then I saw two other things zipping about overhead.

Two peregrine falcons were buzzing the forsythia with intent to do breakfast. I’d never seen two falcons hunting together, but there they were. Soon the bunnies made a break for it. One went north and the other went east. The northbound bunny almost made it to the well house with some tricky maneuvers, but not tricky enough.

The eastbound bunny was a little more fortunate and found cover. I saw the number two peregrine make a number of passes, and I was amazed at the aerobatics. When in a full dive mode they can come in at almost a hundred miles an hour…. That’s like getting hit with a Randy Johnson fastball, if you remember that incident.

Finally, the hapless second falcon rose up and left the chase. He made a loop and shot through my trees cursing and swearing. I don’t know anything about air traffic control, but I’d swear he was on a direct line for the nearest I Hop and their pancake special…. Hey, breakfast is breakfast.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger…..  Hell’s Gate…. And now…Arizona.

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Family matters:

When a couple gets married, they unwittingly marry the whole shebang. In some cases that can be an overwhelming adventure. You think about how simple it should be… you gain a few in-laws, and you already know them fairly well… sort of. But then, up pops Uncle Felix and Great Aunt Ninny, and then you try to explain that Aunt Ninny really isn’t your aunt but your third cousin. And who knows what Uncle Felix is…. he’ll be out in about 8 years and we’ll ask him.

My lovely wife’s family was easy. They came from Poland in the early 20^th Century, and many could still speak the language. They were not without some strange characters, but an uncle was an uncle and a cousin was just that. Of course I couldn’t pronounce any of the surnames, but that was okay.

My family on the other hand arrived in the mid 1600s from England, and with the state of disfavor the Bradshaw name was in… some were surely on the run. That gave them about 350 years to really get things screwed up. So when I tell my son that Aunt Ethel isn’t really his aunt but his Great Uncle, who was named “Aunt Ethel”. I get that look that says, “Am I supposed to get this?”

I’m relatively certain that my family was the inspiration for Abbott and Costello’s “Who’s on First” routine.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger…..  Hell’s Gate…. And now…Arizona.

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Close encounter of the 4^th of July kind:

As did thousands of people here in the Ozarks, my neighbor put on a fireworks display in his front yard. He chose his front yard because the rest of the property is either a pasture or wooded. We sat on our front porch and watched it all unfold… and it was quite a show, until one of those big boomers tipped over and sent a fireball sideways through our front yard at about 5 feet off the ground missing everything, but it continued down the road. I know it traveled over three hundred feet because that’s how wide my frontage is.

To make matters even more exciting, a car was coming down the next hill. It was one of those times when you can see something unfold, and there’s not a thing you can do about it.  I’m sure the driver of that little car was jamming on the brakes and saying words he never learned at his mother’s knee. The fireball hit the pavement and became airborne again before it exploded into a zillion stars well above the car.

I don’t know what kind of car that was, but it sat there for nearly a minute before it started backing slowly up the hill. I guess the driver’s destination didn’t seem important to him anymore. I could see the headlights for at least a quarter mile before it turned and went the other way.

There would be no way of knowing how many people were in that car, but I’d bet $10 there was at least one wet spot in the upholstery.

Don't miss the latest from Cain

available on Amazon Kindle

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger…..  Hell’s Gate…. And now…Arizona.

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

One of those head scratching moments:

            For a number of years, I was a member of a local co-op art gallery here in Ozark. All the members were required to work so many hours each month. So I was manning the gallery one afternoon, when one of our new members came in and wanted me to show her the ropes. That was fine because it wasn’t busy at that time... or any other time.

            She was a nice looking well preserved young senior about my age, and our conversation was casual and friendly. I walked her down one aisle and up another telling about each particular artist and commenting on their strengths while ignoring their weaknesses. We had stopped at a relatively good landscape, when out of nowhere she said,

            “Not tonight…. I have a headache.” Silence was the loudest thing in the building for about a half minute and then she said,

“Now, where the hell did that come from?”

I often wonder if there is an unseen imp floating around out there directing those people to me. If so, that’s all right because I speak their language.

Have a safe and happy Independence Day… and remember how you got the holiday.

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger…..  Hell’s Gate…. And now…Arizona.

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw