How to speak Missouri:

          First of all, you have to be able to pronounce it. Missouri is pronounced just like it is spelled, with an i at the end not an a. There seems to be one small town in the center of the state that pronounces it with an a, and it has infected many people from other states. Missouri is a very difficult dialect and must be taken in small doses. So we will start with the English word “you” and explore the various forms of it. If we divide the state into 4 geographic units we can explore the differences.

North of the Missouri River: You (singular) You (plural) Yours (possessive) just like regular English – a most uninteresting part of the state.

St. Louis & Kansas City:  You (singular) Youse (2 people) Youse Guys (more than 2people) Yourses (singular possessive) Yourse Guyses (plural possessive).

South of the Missouri River: You  (singular) You-uns (2 people - pronounced yuns) You-unes (more than 2 people) Yournses (singular or plural possessive)

Boot Heel: You-un (singular - pronounced U.N.) You-uns You-all (2 people – you-all is pronounced as 2 words) You-allses (possessive). There is no word for more than 2 people since few Boot Heelers can count that far.

          The difficulty with Missouri’s Dialects, or Mo-talk, stems from the fact that most of our ancestors immigrated from Kentucky, Tennessee, and Georgia. Those people haven’t spoken English for several centuries.

          While putting this piece together, my computer fought me on every word. It got so frustrated that I got an email from Bill Gates threatening to have me committed if I didn’t stop the insanity. In other words, Missouri words were driving Microsoft Word bonkers.

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