Ya Don’t Haveta:

Among the things that make growing older tolerable if not desirable, for men, are the things that you no longer have to do…. For instance:

          *Getting up and automatically shaving every morning…. Ya don’t haveta.

*Following the latest trend in style or fashion…. Ya don’t haveta. In fact, it’s okay to look like an unmade bed.

*Worrying about offending someone who has a stupid opinion…. Ya don’t haveta.

*Waiting until 6:00 p.m. to eat dinner…. Ya don’t haveta.

*Waiting until 6:00 a.m. to get up…. Ya don’t haveta. Get up at 3 if you want to. Go out and   prowl around in the yard, turn on some lights and do some gardening. The neighbors won’t mind, and you can take a nap at 2:30 in the afternoon.

*Being fearful of making a fool of yourself…. Ya don’t haveta. It’s okay, you are what you are.

*Following instructions from the wife…. Ya don’t haveta. That’s why older men were blessed with selective hearing and shortened memories.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger….. and now…. Hell’s Gate

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Wal-Mart Folks:

          The next time you are in a Wal-Mart store, take note of the number of people just walking around talking to themselves.You’ll hear things like, “Now that’s just wrong.” “I gotta get that…No you don’t.” and “Where can I put it?...In the shed with the rest of the junk…Okay, then I’ll get it.” Give a listen sometime, it’s more entertaining than Reality TV.

The Golf Cap:

          Avon has a pink golf cap that shows 2 crossed clubs and is emblazoned with the words, “Chicks with Sticks”. I assume that is supposed to be some sort of intimidation. Well it is. That‘s a pretty scary thought. The only thing that would make it more frightening would be if it said, “Gals with Guns.”

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger….. and now…. Hell’s Gate

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Something’s Not Right:

          I ran across a picture of a young adolescent boy with a Richie Cunningham face, red hair, freckles, and outstanding ears. This lad was wearing a tuxedo and playing a violin. Now, that’s just plain wrong. I think it would have been easier to accept a picture of the Pope out on a date with an Italian Supermodel, than to accept that boy with his bow tie and fiddle.

Definitions:

          Hoar Frost…..An STD transmitted by a frigid lady of the night.

          Perpetual Motion……Any three year old.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger….. and now…. Hell’s Gate

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Adventure at Sea:

          Well, I wasn’t technically at sea, when this adventure took place, but I was close. We pulled into the Boston Navy Yard some 15 years ago, to see the USS Constitution aka Old Ironsides. When we arrived,  there were 3 tour busses pulling in at the same time. Two of the busses were filled with about 80% women. The other was from some VFW, and was mostly old men. Needless to say, everybody headed for the restrooms. The women lined up about 500 deep, and the men had a line of about 30 old guys, with me in the middle. It didn’t take more than a few minutes for those gals to decide to highjack the men’s room, so they just moved in and took it over. The old vets just stood there mumbling and fidgeting. After what seemed like 12 hours, I heard someone say, “To hell with it! I’m goin’ in!” The line started moving and women were yelling things that they didn’t learn in Catholic school, but they were clearing out.

When I reached my destination, I ran into a real snag. You see I was wearing a brand new pair of 501 Levis, and they were stiff as a board. They also had a button fly, which was immovable. That in its self was distressing enough, but the grumbling going on behind me was getting serious. I knew there had to be more than one enlarged prostrate back there. I also started thinking that, these were all a bunch of WW II vets. They were the same guys who hit the beaches at Normandy or slogged through the jungles of the South Pacific. I figured that it was just a matter of seconds before one of them put a bayonet in my back or gave me a judo chop across the throat. Suddenly my discomfort wasn’t so important or urgent, so I retreated to the parking lot, with the hope of finding a patch of woods, an alley, or a working head on a 250-year-old ship.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger….. and now…. Hell’s Gate

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Wishing you all a wonderful Easter

Remember who has risen.

Nice Neighborhood:

          A few weeks ago, I was putting a plate rail on a shelf for Avon. After making sure that the rail was perfectly lined up and the glue was applied, I realized that my clamps weren’t going to work. Just a little matter of failing to plan for all the details before one starts. Being one of the fast thinking crowd, I grabbed a number of hefty books from the family room shelves. It all worked perfectly, and when I was finished and the glue was set, I started putting away the books. Looking at the titles I noted a Mark Twain, an Arthur Hailey, two James Micheners, and a Herman Melville. My reaction was, “Wow, that’s pretty nice company that shelf is keeping. Too bad, it isn’t a bookshelf. But if it was a bookshelf, it probably wouldn’t have use for a plate rail.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger….. and now…. Hell’s Gate

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Another Cooking Adventure:

          I sat my cup of coffee down on the counter to chop up some onion. I was busy cutting and chopping and getting that last outer ring with the skin attached off and throwing it at the sink. I’ve got to admit that I was doing a heck of a job. When I had finished, I figured my coffee was cold, so I put it in the microwave to warm. Taking it out after the third beeping cycle, which is just before it starts with the profanities. Avon ordered it special like that to get my attention. I noticed what looked like a small snake in the brew and pulled out. It was one of those final outer onion rings that didn’t make it to the sink. I figured that the coffee was strong enough to kill any germs on the onionskin, so I drank it. It was …GOOD! I can honestly say that I had never tasted anything like it. I wonder if Starbuck’s is ready for a new menu item. 

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger….. and now…. Hell’s Gate

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Man Cook:

          A few weeks ago I was making some biscuits for dinner; I read directions, I mixed the ingredients, I kneaded, I cut, I set the temperature, and I set the timer. They turned out great. They were almost as good as my Granny used to make. That set me to remembering that Granny didn’t have Bisquick all pre mixed and ready for the milk. Nor was Granny able to set the temperature – she used a wood cook stove. I’m not even sure she could tell time, so a timer wouldn’t have been much help either, But her biscuits always came out right. Mine biscuits sometimes come out right; sometimes there are a few on the left. There used to be a Hardee’s commercial that says, “Guys don’t bake.” So I went to www.hardees.com and told them, “Lou do”.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger….. and now…. Hell’s Gate

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Where’s That Stuff Come From?

          Many products are named or described by their origin. For instance, there is Columbian coffee, which is grown in Columbia, even though coffee was first cultivated in Arabia, ergo, Arabica coffee. Wines of course are named for the region in which the grapes were first cultivated, even though the grapes are grown and the wine produced many thousands of miles away, i.e. California Champaign.

Then you have the instances of Dutch and Swiss chocolates being considered some of the world's finest, although nary a cocoa bean has ever grown in either Holland or Switzerland.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger….. and now…. Hell’s Gate

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

It’s All in the Name:

          In 1957, when Buddy Holly was struggling to get started, he ran into a contractual snag with Decca Records. Buddy and company found that they couldn’t cut a particular record under the name Buddy Holly. So in a panic to find a name for the band, they found themselves on an insect theme. They rejected such names as The Grasshoppers, The June Bugs, The Spiders, and…The Beetles. That’s right. They finally settled on The Crickets, but just imagine what might have happened if they had gobbled up that other name before John, Paul, George, and Ringo had a chance at it. Of course, I believe the mop haired four would have made it even if they’d called themselves The Cockroaches.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger….. and now…. Hell’s Gate

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

The Secret to a Successful Marriage: 

Know when to retreat; better yet…know when to get the hell out of the line of fire.

Semi-Scientific Research: Exhaustive experiments have shown me that a mini-pretzel of the twisted type when dropped from a height of 3’6’ to a concrete floor will break into 4 unequal pieces 7 out of 10 times. It has taken me at least 3 years, nearly 100,000 pretzels, and several sheets of paper, but I can say with a great deal of certainty that it is a fact. I can also say with a great deal of certainty that the process of falling and breaking doesn’t improve the flavor of the pretzel.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger….. soon…. Hell’s Gate

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Contradictions:

          Through the years, I’ve created for myself an image of a bungling knucklehead. Actually, I’m probably not as big a fool that many people think I am. Compared to Uncle Ed I’m a raging genius. Avon is quick to confirm that it is so, but she also points out that I am not nearly as bright as I think I am.

Political Honesty:

"My choices in life were either to be a piano player in a whore house or a politician.  And to tell the truth, there's hardly any difference!" – Harry Truman

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger….. soon…. Hell’s Gate

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Cartoon Characters: My favorite by far is Wile E Coyote. He is the most persistent, inventive, undauntable, and resilient critter under the Arizona sun. No matter how many times he is blown up, run over, dropped thousands of feet from a cliff, smashed, crashed, or ground into a pulp he never gives up, and for what purpose? Just for the chance at a meal of scrawny, tough, and surely tasteless little desert chicken. I never said that he was smart – just relentless?

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger….. soon…. Hell’s Gate

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

            Hopes and Wishes: Hope is like a wimpy wish, and a wish isn’t worth a plugged nickel unless you do something about it. It’s like that pony you wanted for your birthday. Unless folks know you want a pony for your birthday they’re going to get you socks and underwear. Ergo you must do something about it like telling them you want a pony. If you never begged, pleaded, or whined, I’ll bet you still don’t have that pony.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger….. soon…. Hell’s Gate

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Physical Fitness and Health:

 I thought that I might be starting to get a little out of shape, but on closer study realized that I have always been a physical wreck. Even with that knowledge at hand I felt I should at least give it a try, so I did some reading and watched some old Jack laLanne videos and felt I was ready to take the plunge. I worked myself into a state of full-blown fitness obsession and did a push up, and found exercise to be highly overrated! That’s the kind of stuff that could kill a person.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger….. soon…. Hell’s Gate

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

From the Editor:

          As the Ice Age of 2016 slowly recedes into Canada and the Arctic we start thinking about another spring and summer coming on (you folks in California please ignore).  It’s time to start sharpening mower blades, hoes, shovels, and drag out tillers. Kinda makes one long for the good old days of sitting by the fire and relaxing, doesn’t it?

         

From the old mail bag:   This came to me from Dennis in Michigan… 

          It seems Dennis was standing in line at Toys or Us when a lovely young blonde came running up to the counter pushing people aside, and asked if she would get a prize or a certificate or something.

          “Why would you think there should be a prize?” he asked.

          “Because I finished this puzzle in only 3 months…” she said.

          “And?” he queried.

          She held up the box and said,

          “See… right here on the box, it says… ‘2 to 4 years.”

                                                         ~~~~~~

I’m just wondering if I finished it in 6 months, what kind of prize I would get?

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain….Spirit Valley….. Driftin’…. JL Tate Texas Ranger….. soon…. Hell’s Gate

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw