Mark Twain:

            Without a doubt, my favorite writer EVER is Sam Clemons

, aka Mark Twain. Recently, I was called on to do an art demonstration at a local elementary school. After a little thought on the matter I decided to do a Mark Twain portrait. His face has a lot of character and is fairly easy to get a likeness. So to get into the Twain spirit, I picked up my copy of the works of the above named author and started reading. It’s always fun to revisit some of the things that I found true or made me laugh before. I found one that I’d like to share. It deals with his views on the subject of travel, from The Innocents Abroad.

            “The gentle reader will never never know what a consummate ass he can become, until he goes abroad. I speak now, of course, in the supposition that the gentle reader has not been abroad, and therefore is not already a consummate ass.”

            This passage held a double whammy. It not only made me laugh, but there was a whole lot of truth in it.

My all time favorite quote from Mark Twain:

“It’s easy to quit smoking… I've done it a thousand times.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw… Available on Amazon Kindle

A Fine Kettle of Fish   (Adventure Humor)

Hickory Jack   (Western)

Blue   (Western)

Ace High   (Western to be released soon)

Midnight Bob;

            For those who don’t know about Midnight Bob, he’s a big black Tomcat that has adopted me. I set out a little food for him and he keeps the rodents away. We have what you might call a tenuous relationship; I’m not crazy about him, and he doesn’t like me at all. Old Bob is one of the most standoffish creatures I’ve ever encountered. Any contact has to be on his terms. If he wants to rub against my ankles that’s fine, but if I went to pet him, which I certainly won’t, it could cost me a hand…. It’s like those dating years all over again, “You can feed me, but you can’t touch me.”

Books by Lou Bradshaw from Amazon Kindle are available on many devices

A Fine Kettle of Fish.... (Adventure Humor)

Hickory Jack.... (Western)

Blue.... (Western)

Coming soon .... Ace High.... (Western)

You can Call Me Moe, or You can Call Me Joe……

            As a man well seasoned by the years, I find some things connected with age somewhat offensive. I don’t particularly like labels, and what I call Geezer labels are especially offensive. You can call me just about anything, but don’t call me:

·        Spry: That’s a thick fatty substance that your mother used to fry chicken in and bake pies with.

·        A Senior Citizen: What the hell is that? Do they also have Freshman and Sophomore Citizens?

·        An older gentleman: That would only be half true.

·        Sir: If you were standing before me at attention and we were both in uniform, then you could call me sir, but I can guarantee that will never be the case.

·        Mr. Bradshaw: If you don’t know my first name then you’d better find someone to introduce us because I fully intend to use your first name…. if I can remember it.

Books by Lou Bradshaw available from Amazon Kindle for many devices

A Fine Kettle of Fish - Adventure Humor

Hickory Jack - Western

Blue - Western

It’s really cold here, folks. I was out in the garage this morning and my hands got so cold, I had to stick them in the beer fridge to warm them up.

 With it being so cold, I spend a lot of time looking out the windows. While watching out my window this morning, I saw my neighbor from across the road, come out with his dog. The neighbors, Napoleon and Josephine Biggs are large people. Neither is as tall as I am, which isn't tall, but they are LARGE. Napoleon came out with his little dog, on a leash, and immediately lost it in the snow. It’s a really little dog. Every time I see this ritual, it’s like watching the Michelin Man leading a rat on a string. I need to stay away from that window. 

Books on Amazon Kindle by Lou Bradshaw

A Fine Kettle of Fish

Hickory Jack

Blue

My wife, the lovely Avon, was complaining that the cable bill went up again. It seems to go up every January. I thought for a minute and then told her, “If we didn't have cable, I’d just be sitting here looking at you, and you’d be sitting there looking at me…and sooner or later, you’d be shooting at me…. We gotta have cable!”

Next we got a notice that the trash service is raising their price. After analyzing the cost of each service, I found that we pay at least 3 times as much for cable as we do for trash pick up…. That means it costs a lot more to bring garbage into the house than it does to take it out.

lou bradshaw

Your Daily Dose of Nonsense will begin January 6, 2014.

I will be posting on this spot 5 days a week starting January 6, 2014. It's all about fun and nonsense.