Sometimes you just gotta take it:

          Many years ago, my son, Chris, had a horse, Red the Possessed Mustang. Chris could ride him, but Red thoroughly refused to let me in the saddle, which was fine because he’d already broken one of my arms and I didn’t want to give him a shot at the other. As was my habit, every morning before work I’d go out, feed the evil beast, and break up the ice in his water. Then I’d go back to the house cussing and plotting my revenge. One day, I was running late, so I cussed and plotted my revenge on the way to work. When I got there, I realized that I hadn’t changed my shoes, and you can guess what was on them. It wasn’t very long until I had quite a mess under my desk and had to call housekeeping to send someone with a vacuum sweeper.

          I had to stand outside my office and listen to that woman mumble, grumble, and utter any number of unfinished expletives. When she had finished, she gave me a brush and made me clean my shoes in a trashcan. That was just one more thing to add to my revenge list.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain…. and now available…Spirit Valley

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Don’t call me; I’ll call you:

          I got a call from a telemarketer last week, wanting me to bundle all my services with his cable company. We’re registered with No Call, but since we use one of his services, he’s allowed to call and annoy us. First, he asked me how I was, and told me his name was Kevin. I told him nicely that our internet is with the phone company and will stay there because the phone doesn’t go out. It hasn’t gone out in over 36 years, whereas the cable goes out every few months. He said, “Sir, our cable never goes out.” I used an expletive,(something about bull droppings) and he kept on talking and repeating that his cable never has gone out. I said, “Kevin, didn’t you hear me just say @**&!!?” He said he heard me the first time, and that I should watch my language. I said, “Kevin, there are seven words that you can’t say on television, but none that you can’t say on the telephone. This is my phone and my language. If you don’t like it then you can get off.”

          I’ve got to give old Kevin credit. He was still selling when I turned off the phone.

Definition:

          Rough Rider – Commando on a Kawasaki.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain…. and now available…Spirit Valley

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

So, I get a little confused:

          I was getting ready to go play golf and was taking my hat out to the truck, when Avon asked me to put a birthday card in the mailbox and raise the flag. Sure, that was easy enough, but an hour later, I was trying to keep the sun out of my eyes with that card. Two days after that, the hat was returned for insufficient postage.

A quote after my own heart:

          “I never intend to do any great amount of labor. I have but one short life and do not aspire to wealth nor fame in a degree which could only be obtained by extraordinary effort on my part.”

Western artist, Frederic Remington

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain…. and now available…Spirit Valley

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Marriage:

          After 50 years of married bliss, life holds few surprises. Marriage is the only situation I know of where a person will take on an obvious flawed and unfixable item and spend the rest of their life trying to fix it. For instance, after 50 years of saying, “Wipe your feet.” and having to say it over and over again should tell a person that it wasn’t working. Feet wiping cannot be imbedded into a Y chromosome, let alone any reference to a toilet lid. Avon has spent the better part of her life trying to get me see her point of view, or simply start thinking her way. It’s come to the point that my major contribution to this partnership is the ability to open pickle jars. When I can no longer do that for her, then maybe I’ll have to change my way of thinking. Hopefully, some inventor will come up with an easy open pickle jar before that happens.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain…. and now available…Spirit Valley

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Grocery store surprise:

          Last November, when Avon got home from a last minute stop at the grocery store just before Thanksgiving, she found 2 cans of pumpkin filling among her other items. She hadn’t put them in the cart and had no idea how they got there. The only thing we could figure was that someone had put them in her cart by mistake. It wasn’t worth going back to the store to return them, so they went into the pantry. Since she didn’t bake pies, she fretted around about those cans until I told her she could use them to make other dishes. I suggested things like pumpkin pudding, pumpkin lasagna, pumpkin cacciatore, and when I got to pumpkin on a shingle one of the cans came flying in my direction. 

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain…. and now available…Spirit Valley

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Ladies, Let the Fun Begin… without me.

            Today is Bunko day. Bunko is a game played, with 12 women, Dice, and Food. I don’t know the rules or the point. All I know is I am not allowed anywhere within 20 miles of the house when it’s going on. If I should happen to come home a bit early, I have to park in the neighbor’s yard because mine is full. They all seem to have a good time and there are prizes, but I think it’s mostly about food and gossip… I really don’t mind hiding out for 3 or 4 hours, I just wish they’d save a few chips and dips.

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain…. and now available…Spirit Valley

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

A Culture Long Past:

            When I was in grade school about from the 2^nd grade for the 3^rd time (a long story for another time) until the first half of the 7^th grade we lived in St. Louis. We had moved about quite a bit and there were many addresses that I never had time to memorize. It wasn’t an especially rough neighborhood; it was sort of a ragged edge between good and evil. When I was in the 5^th grade the Gypsies began to move in along one of the main streets a few blocks away. They were both scary and fascinating for a 10-year-old kid. They came aboard old rattletrap stake trucks, pick-ups, and old converted busses; all painted with the gaudiest trim imaginable.

            Soon about a 6 block stretch of Easton Avenue was filled with Gypsy shops and stores on both sides of the street. Lord, what a sense of color they had. Everything was painted or decked in the brightest purples, pinks, yellows, fucias, magentas, and scarlets. I didn’t know the names of those colors back then but I loved them. I would ride my bike through that section and just be consumed with the colors. The kids never showed up in our school, but there were plenty of them. They ignored any overtures of friendship by just shaking their heads and saying, “Go.” There never seemed to be any trouble and you could see locals going in and out of their shops, even though everyone said they were thieves and worse. They openly flaunted the law by having live goats and chickens in their homes and shops, but the cops just ignored them.

            I never knew where they came from or where they went, but after about a year they were gone as quickly as they had come. Those were the last Gypsies I have seen, and I’m sorry I didn’t look a little closer. 

“Life is much too important to be taken seriously.”

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio –  Cain…just Cain…. and now available…Spirit Valley

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw