That’s cold:

            As my golf group was getting ready to tee off last week, the group ahead of us was moving out. When they were about 20 yards away, one of them called back, “Don’t hit into us.”  I yelled for them to just keep out of our way. At about 25 yards the fella yelled back, “Go ahead and hit… we’re safe now.” I didn’t have a thing to say.

Crayfish, Crawfish, or Crawdads:

            For years I wondered what the difference was in those three entities. Finally, I couldn’t stand the sleepless nights and days spent with that question hanging over my head, so I looked it up. It seems that they are the same thing with different names for different parts of the world. I’d always loved them for the way they could send a little sister screaming, but I understand that some folks actually eat them. In Louisiana they may call them delicious, but in Missouri we call them bait.

Note: I may have to be off line until some time next week. 

It seems I've caught a virus and I might have to go computer shopping. 

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio   And now….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

A job in the hood:

            The summer I got out of high school, I took a job in a St. Louis factory. It was a deciding factor in what I didn’t want to do with the rest of my life. I worked from 4 pm until about 1 am, which is okay for an 18 year old kid. As it turned out the factory, which made BBQ grills was located close to my old neighborhood and employed several of the kids I went to grade school with. I have mentioned before that I drove a 1949 Ford Roman Candle during those years.

I came out of the plant one morning to find myself with a flat tire and no spare. I was getting ready to break the tire down and patch it when one of my old grade school chums said, “Hang on, we’ll get you fixed up.” and off they went. Within a half hour, he and his 2 buddies came down the alley rolling 4 relatively new white walled tires. We switched the tires, and as I was driving them home, we passed a used car lot with a 1949 Ford Roman Candle sitting up on blocks. The homeboys chuckled, and I tried not to look at it. If I hadn’t lost that job, I could have had a completely restored car by November, or I could’ve been doing 3 to 5 in Jefferson City.

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio   And now….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Circulating emails:

            There are a number of serial emails being passed around the world. Most notable of these would our friend, Maxine and Wal-Mart People. There is one that has a recurring tag line of “They Walk Among Us”. You’ve surely seen them; they describe terminally air-headed people doing really dumb stuff. Friends, let me remind you that I also walk among us.  

Backup Material:

            To further emphasize the above statement, I’ll share this testimony from a secret communication with a habitant from the planet Outta, which is about a billion light years south of Neptune.

Me:

Do your people follow a religion?

Outtain correspondent:

Although, we believe in Heaven, we do not believe in hell. We think that when your switch is permanently turned off and you haven’t been a stellar Outtian your soul isn’t condemned to fire. Instead it is sent to forever roam the Weird People Isles at Wal-Mart. *

*Editor's Note. It should be noted that I did not contact the Outtian beings.... they sought me out.

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio   And now….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

The beard:

            When I grew my beard and mustaches (a man has 2 mustaches – a left one and a right one) without consulting my lovely wife. She has been very tolerant and patient about the whole affair. However, I do catch her looking at it from time to time and she has asked how long I plan to sport it. The other day she caught me off guard with, “Tell me again, why you grew it.” I couldn’t give her the bit about wanting to look smarter because she didn’t buy that the first time. So, being the quick thinker that I am I said, “When it gets just right, I’m going to paint a picture using my chin whiskers as a brush. I may create a whole cult of beard painters.” I knew when I said it that it was one of the most ridiculous things I had ever told her. I think the outrageousness had its effect because she let it slide. Actually, I think she was afraid I was losing my mind and didn’t want to push me over the edge. 

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio   And now….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

The quick red fox jumped over …

            I took typing in high school. I wasn’t a forward thinking youngster or anything like that. It wasn’t because I knew we would all be sitting at PCs and using standard typewriter keyboards. No, it was because that’s where all the girls were. To my way of thinking, I could schmooze my way into a few dates, and at worst case scenario I’d be able to pick up some clues as to what goes on in those cute curly heads. The girls soon accepted the fact that I was there and went about their business – I was accepted as one of the girls. They began to talk freely – maybe a little too freely. There was information bouncing around in my scull that I had no business knowing and no desire knowing, and most of it I still don’t understand. The only thing I got out of that class was some decent typing skills.

New Disclaimer: It should be noted that this blog is completely green and 100% recyclable. When you people fill up all the landfills – don’t go blaming me.

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio   And now….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

I couldn't believe what I just heard:

            I had been working all morning on prepping the new bathroom floor for the tile. I was tired, my back hurt, my knees hurt, and the rest of me hurt as well. Avon came in to see how I was doing or to make sure I was doing it right. She stood there for a few minutes and said, “When you get ready for a rest, we can…” My mind raced ahead, and I was sure her next words would be – eat lunch. However, the words that I actually heard were “move furniture.” I didn’t know that a person using the English language could put rest and move furniture  in the same sentence and have it make sense.

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio   And now….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

 A Native American Legend:

            Once on a trip out west, I was able to shake loose from Avon and just spend some time doing what I like to do – people watch. So I sat on a bench and watched a little cowboy town mosey by. I was soon joined by a wizened old Indian. He was just looking for anybody to talk to and I was it. He started by telling me the story of his great grandfather, Short Bird Walking (SBW). According to my companion SBW was about 4ft. 10 inches tall and couldn’t catch wild horses, so he generally walked everywhere.

            The chief had put his daughter up as prize for a special contest. The brave who could cross the desert and bring back a rock from the top of the shining mountain would win her hand. The problem was that there was no water on the trip either going or coming and none at the shining mountain, so the braves had to take enough water for an eighty mile trip for both the brave and his horse. So on his second day out SBW started to see horses dragging the tails back to the village followed by braves dragging their tails. One step at a time the little fella kept going-going-going. A week later he walked into the village, handed the chief the special stone, and waited to claim his prize. The chief asked him, “How was a little runt like you able to do this thing when all of our finest warriors couldn’t?” Short Bird Walking replied, “Because I’m the little Injun that could.”

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio   And now….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw