Neighborhood Watch:

Our neighbor’s old dog had a thing about contrails. She kept an eye on the sky whenever she was outside. If she saw one, she’d rip around and bark like a dog possessed until the trail moved on or turned away. The poor old girl passed away last year and we worried about our vapor protection. I tried to teach the cat, old Midnight Bob, to be our contrail controller, but “Meeow” just doesn't seem to get it done. So, I've taken up the mantel of neighborhood protector. Now every time I see a streak of white in the sky, I’m out there yelling and barking. I've noticed that there seems to be more sheriffs’ cars driving by and giving us extra attention. Don’t understand what that’s all about, but we’re once again safe from contrails.

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – and now… Ace High

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

A little Beemer bashing if you please:

            While driving through town the other day, I watched a new black BMW convertible approach from a side street. It was a beauty. It had to be upwards of $50,000 minimum. The lady behind the wheel approached the stop sign and ignored it, which caused me to use my horn because I try to save my breaks for emergencies. She must have thought that a friend had honked because she waved in three directions. I finally had to resort to my breaks – she never even knew I was there. After thinking it over it dawned on me that she must have thought her car was so expensive that it would be immune to traffic mishaps. If she keeps driving like that, I’m afraid she will be greatly disappointed in her immunization. 

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – and now… Ace High

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Dumb things you shouldn't do in a car:

            When I was young, foolish, and commuting to a nearby Jr. College, I carpooled with several other guys. There was Tom, Tony, Charlie, myself, and 2 others of doubtful intellect and dubious reputations. Being serious and hardworking students we rarely horsed around, but this particular day we were in high spirits. The game was to squash someone as we went around a corner. I was in the front middle, and it seemed that no matter which direction the corner went I was the one getting squashed from both sides. Tom was driving and Tony was at shotgun. On one of the last curves I decided to scare Tony by acting like I was grabbing the door handle – I really grabbed it. The last thing I saw, before I saw the pavement, was Tony swing out holding on to the door. They said I just disappeared and then reappeared outside making a perfect 3-point landing on 2 elbows and a chin. Tom gave me 9.65 for style, Charlie gave me a 9.5 for degree of difficulty, and Tony gave me hell for being a numbskull. 

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – and now… Ace High

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Speaking of Art:

            My first art job was with the Air Force as an illustrator. My boss had a unique way of cutting me off at the knees when I would get too pleased with my own work. He’d hold it out at arm’s length and consider it with a great deal of thoughtfulness, and then he’d turn it over to see if there was anything on the back. Without a word or an expression, he’d slide it across the desk, where I’d pick it up and return to my drawing board. This would go on at least 3 times, before he’d pick it up and say “Good job” even though I hadn’t changed a thing.

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – and now… Ace High

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Another Pretzel Story:

When I was among the actively employed, (Pre Retirement) I almost always had a small bowl of pretzels on my desk. They were just a little something to nibble on or drop on the floor. One time I didn’t feel well. I had the notion that I was coming down with a doozy of a cold. It was beginning to have all the bells and whistles, such as sneezes, sore throat and the sinus thing.

One of my coworkers, who didn't seem to have a job there, but he moved from office to office and desk to desk with the general purpose of disturbing others came through my door and sat down. After a few minutes of gossip, he reached into the bowl of pretzels and took a handful of pretzels. I started to warn him, but changed my mind. If I’d said anything, he’d have put them back, and I’d have had throw the whole bowl away. So I let him enjoy himself.... He missed about 3 days of non-work, but nobody seemed to notice.  

My old daddy always told me, “If a fella is determined to be stupid… Let him.” 

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – and now… Ace High

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

The Family:

About a hundred years ago, a well known American artist, Grant Wood, painted a picture that looked something like this. He called his rendition, “American Gothic” because of the gothic style window in the background.  Mine doesn’t exactly have a gothic style window in it, so I titled it “American Outhouse”.

The couple you see here are my Uncle Ed and his lovely wife Edna. They are likely the most mismatched couple on earth. She is certain that the road to Heaven runs through her approval, and Uncle Ed is taking an alternate route.

Uncle Ed: Edner, what should I do if one of them tornados comes a swoopin down at me?

Aunt Edna: Run out there with a stick and chase it off. 

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – and now… Ace High

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Semi-Scientific Research:

Exhaustive experiments have shown me that a mini-pretzel of the twisted type when dropped from a height of 3’6’ to a concrete floor will break into 4 unequal pieces 7 out of 10 times. It has taken me at least 3 years, nearly 100,000 pretzels, and several sheets of paper, but I can say with a great deal of certainty that it is a fact. I can also say with a great deal of certainty that the process of falling and breaking doesn’t improve the flavor of the pretzel.

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – and now… Ace High

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts