Gardening 101

            We don’t do much in the way of gardening, so when Avon decided to plant some tomatoes it immediately became a big deal. Of course I was less than enthusiastic about the planting; I was only interested in the eating. As she showed me how well she had done I noticed that some of them looked a little droopy, so I suggested that she put some Vigaro on them, but what I said was, “Maybe you should give them some Viagra.” “Viagra?” she said. Ever fast on my feet, I told her, “Yeah, that way you won’t have to prop them up.”

Just a reminder o what's New

That's what's New.

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio   And now….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

From the editor:

            This is a Mother’s Day thought for all the mothers I know and some I don’t know. Motherhood is a wonderful thing I’m sure, and it can have many rewards. But on reflection of the process of becoming a mother all I can say is – man that’s gotta hurt! My hat goes off to all who have endured it, and I’m sure glad I didn’t have to.

Don’t you just hate it when:

1) You’re doing a “Some Assembly Required” project, and you have pieces left over – and they look important?

2) You’re walking through the kitchen in the dark, barefooted, and you step on something that crunches – and you pray that you just killed a corn flake.

 3) Your last French fry falls on the floor, and you’re tempted to pick it up and eat it, but everyone in McDonalds is watching you. 

I'm happy to announce that my latest effort,  "Cain... just Cain", went live on Amazon Kindle yesterday afternoon, and is available for almost all reading devices.

Cain has been described as Dirty Harry of the Old West. I think that might sum him up pretty close. Those who cross him once had best enjoy the moment because they'll not do it again.

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – Rubio   And now….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Innovation:

            We had some excitement in town last week. Both cops were looking for a pair of city looking fellas who were confronting women on the street and running battery powered devices over their bosoms. Needless to say, the ladies were all pretty upset. They described the experience as “Not unpleasant” but were still offended by the assaults. When the two officers, Barney and Chester, caught up with the miscreants, they learned the whole story.

            It seems that those men were engineers from a large manufacturer, which is best known for electric drills and kitchen gadgets. They were in Ozark testing a new product that they hope to be on the market by Christmas. The new Black and Decker….Bust Duster.

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – And  available Now – Rubio

Coming Soon….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Technology update:

            I just installed a new feature on my computer. It’s called “SmellCheck”, and it’s amazing. It doesn’t correct or guard against anything. What it does is alert me whenever I write a stinker. A little skunk icon appears in the offending section. Unfortunately, it popped up so often that the skunk died from exhaustion.

My lovely wife:

            To those of you who don’t know my wife Avon, dear girl that she is, and may have wondered about her unusual name. There’s a story about the name, but she won’t tell me.  I always figured her folks had ordered it out of a catalog. If you spell Avon backwards, it is Nova, if you twist it to the left it’s Ovan, and if you twist it to the right it’s Vano. But if you spell it upside down, it is unpronounceable.

Coming Real Soon!

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – And  available Now – Rubio

Coming Soon….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Disaster Averted… maybe:

            There was a time this past winter when I wasn’t sure this blogger was going to ever write another post. I was blindsided by a sneaky virus. It wasn’t one of the computer variety but the people type. I don’t know if it was swine, chicken, dog, or duck flu. I would opt for calling it the donkey flu because it had a kick like a mule. All those hours at the gym turned against me. I had put on some solid flesh (note I didn’t say muscle), which meant more compacted meat to turn into pain. Everything hurt, even my hair hurt. For three days I thought I had a hangover and was still tipsy, that was when the mule really kicked in. All signs tell me I survived it, but I’m still not sure. 

I'm hoping to have this out in about 10 days. This will be #2 of the Shad Cain series.

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – And  available Now – Rubio

Coming Soon….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

He started it:

            I like to take my kayak down to the Riverside Park because there’s generally enough people around that at least one of them knows to call 911 in case of mishap. Yesterday I was there with my little boat in tow and ready for a workout. When I got there, I found a group of older men gathered around a young fella standing on a picnic table.

            He looked like a mishap waiting to happen in his $30 dollar suit that was at least 3 sizes too large for him. I suppose he figured to grow into it. There he stood spouting things that left me completely confused, but there was a bunch of other old geezers listening with rapped attention. Being a geezer myself, I know that old men will stand and listen to almost anything whether they understand it or not. That’s just something we do. So I asked geezer next to me what it was all about and he told me, “Entomology”. The guy next to him said, “What?” A couple others chimed in with what they were getting from it, and no 2 opinions were the same.

            Soon, we were getting more attention than the fella on the picnic table. So he singled me out, and yelled over the babble, “What is your PROBLEM, Mister?” I yelled back, “Buttons! They’re making them bigger and button holes smaller!” … Another one called out, “Gas!” …. And still another yelled, “Sagging libido!” Soon the whole crowd was engaged and problems were coming from all directions. He just sort of shriveled down into that suit and disappeared. It was just as well, since we had our own discussions going on.

            I told my co-conspirator next to me, “My work here is done.” as I started dragging my kayak off toward the Finley River and a good soaking.      

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – And  available Now – Rubio

Coming Soon….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Keep smiling:

            They talk about people who were born to be wild, or someone who was born to sing and dance. Well, I must have been born to smile. I can’t think of a thing I do that comes quicker or easier. Of course, a smile has its costs. I estimate that I helped my dentist pay for at least two bass boats and a Mercedes so that my smile could be tolerated by the general public.

Youthful good looks:

            Everyone wants to keep that look they had in their teens and twenties. Well, what if I told you that there was a way to maintain youth and beauty? ….. Get serious, you’ve all seen this mug – I’ve got a more detailed road map face than Willie Nelson. Do you think I’d look like this if I had the secret of youthful good looks?

Speaking of Willie Nelson:

            Is the rumor true that Willie was Ozzie and Herriet’s third son?   

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – And  available Now – Rubio

Coming Soon….Cain…just Cain

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw