Out Elvising Elvis:

            The movie “GI Blues” yielded among other things a scene where Elvis sings with a pair of puppets the song “Wooden Heart”. The song was released as a single and was a moderate success. German, Elvis impersonator, Roul Donner also released the song in Elvis’s own style. Donner’s version was a huge success. But Donner was never heard of again.... Does the music industry have its own version of a Witness Protection Program?

Did you know?

            Did you know that Johnny Appleseed was a real person? He was in fact John Chapman an itinerant preacher with a few flashes of sanity. He reportedly roamed the middle states from 1810 till 1830 preaching the Swedenborgian Gospel (whatever that is) and planting apple trees. He is said to have planted tens of thousands trees. He must have had a really big bag of seeds.

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – And  available Now – Rubio

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Weeds or flowers:

            We have a spring blooming purple flowered weed here that everyone considers a nuisance. Personally, I like it, but most just try to kill it. The grandkids showed me that it has a sugar content like honeysuckle but much lower, you’d have to graze about an acre to get a good sugar high. The horticulturalists call it Henbit. Now, the simplest minded country boy knows that hens don’t bite they peck. For my own safety and well-being that’s all I’m going to say on the subject of henpecking.

           

Life’s goals:

            I once worked for a woman who was occasionally my friend but was always my boss. Even with that somewhat strained relationship, I had to admire her life’s ambition. I admired it so much that I adopted it as my own. She always said that the one thing she wanted to be when she got older was a character. I’ve lost track of her over the last 25 years, but I’ve often wondered how she made out with it. I must admit I haven’t put a great deal of effort into my pursuit of her goal, but “Sometimes I feel like a nut.” So I ask you dear reader – how am I doing?

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – And  available Now – Rubio

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Who gives orders to generals?

            I do – or did for a few weeks at least. Many years ago, I was on the school board at a little private school in Illinois. The school was not parish based, it had been established to educate the Catholic children from a nearby Air Force base. Our major source of finances, besides tuition, came from Saturday night bingo. I managed the bar (the only thing I was qualified to do). One of my volunteer workers was Colonel, Orley Gonzales. Lo-and-behold old Orley became the first Latino to be promoted to the rank of an Air Force General, and for about 2 bingo sessions I was giving orders to a general. A typical order that I might have given went something like this, “Oh, here, Orley sir, let me do that for you.”

Life is much too important to be taken seriously

 

Did you know?

            Did you know that tough guys Clint Eastwood and Lee Marvin only worked on 1 movie together? It was of all things a movie version of the Broadway Musical “Paint Your Wagon.” They sang their own songs, and Clint Eastwood received good reviews for his singing.

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – And  available Now – Rubio

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

The Old eMail Bag:

            An e-mail from Ron, the West Coast Flash, chided me for not taking on a serious issue facing most of us. Noting the gravity of this matter I chose to run the entire message. 

Dear Nonsense Blog Editor:

Being a new subscriber, I appreciate your "market basket" approach to topics of the day.  There is one topic that I have yet to see in your publication, however, and I must say it is a glaring omission: Tupperware!  I for one am outraged (and I'm not alone) that in this modern age, work-a-day American Citizens are subjected to the infuriating, degrading, and entirely fruitless experience of trying to find a matching Tupperware container AND lid.  First, one must hunt through the endless cupboard of plastic parts, jars, and church directories, only to gain a false sense of victory at finding the "perfect" sized container for the need at-hand.  However, that euphoric feeling is only a cruel setup for the crashing disappointment of the following 3 to 7 minutes spent looking for a lid that will actually fit on the perfect container.  Eventually, one must settle for a container that is mis-sized or go with the perfect container and Saranwrap/rubberband work-around.  Either way, the result is a tragic disappointment. 

 The dark-side of this very real pandemic issue is that Tupperware has become the socks of the kitchen!  Not only are domestic issues exacerbated by this laundry-kitchen double-hit, the Hope-Discouragement Cycle (HDC) brought on by Tupperware alone is one of the leading causes of culinary depression in Americans aged 26 to 65.  I recently read an article citing that the travel mug/lid syndrome is showing signs of following this same dangerous pathology!  Fortunately, Americans tend to outgrow Tupperware-induced HDC around age 65 when their hormonal levels shift in the production of Organizatzione (the hormone also responsible for orderly garages, attics, silverware drawers, closets, and yes, even travel mugs).  Research must be funded to help stop Tupperware-induced HDC for those who are in the target age-range.  If technology can give us the TiVo Season-Pass; if science can give us the Sham-Wow; if government can build Interstate Highways in Hawaii... THEN WHY MUST WE SUFFER THE TUPPERWARE?!

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – And  available Now – Rubio

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Math – A creative science:

            I was talking with an old high school friend who had gone into the sciences, and I told him that I thought math was a creative science. His reaction was, “Nonsense! Math is an exact science. Numbers don’t lie, they are what they represent.” So I showed him one of my golf score cards, and he had to agree that math could be creative.

Tupperware and the Church:

            A fella I once knew told me that he had grown up as a Methodist. Having been *”raised in the canebrake by an old mamma lion” I didn’t know what that was all about. He said they just sang a lot and had a lot of covered dish socials. He called it a Tupperware Tabernacle. I often wondered if his church had a missing roof.                  *Sixteen Ton by Tennessee Ernie Ford

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – And  available Now – Rubio

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Seat Belts – One of my better habits:

            The action of strapping on and clicking a seat belt has become so ingrained to me that it is now a thoughtless process. If I stop at the road to get the mail, when I get back into the truck I will often belt up for the 100 foot trip up the driveway. I have also belted up while driving around the field picking up downed limbs and other storm debris. I think, though, my pinnacle of mindlessness came the other day when I got on the mower and reached for the belt.

The Hereafter:

It’s a known fact that I truly enjoy my life. What worries me is that when I eventually meet St. Peter he might look in that book and say, “Lou, I’m afraid you have already had more than your fair share of happiness.”

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – And  available Now – Rubio

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw

Super Fruit:

            One of my favorite snacks is a big juicy orange. You don’t even have to wash it, just peel it. You never have to cut it up because it’s already divided in sections… try that with a pineapple. It’s packed with vitamin C, and there isn’t a flavor that can compare. It also has the unique distinction of having a name that can’t be rhymed in the English language. And… if you should happen to swallow a seed, fear not, it won’t grow without sunlight, and where it’s going the sun never shines. 

Moe: Why did the chicken cross the road? 

Curley: For some fowl reason.

FYI:  They just don’t write humor like that anymore. April 13 begins 3 Stooges Appreciation Week

Truths:

Life: If you meet someone who is hell bent on making a fool of himself. – go ahead and help him do it.               

from my father... C. (Braddy) Bradshaw

 Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High – Blue Norther – Cain

–  One Man Standing – And  available Now – Rubio

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Or you can contact me at loubradshaw7@gmail.com

Or at Amazon Author Central www.amazon.com/author/loubradshaw