Health and Safety:

One of the most aggravating things about the ageing process is that your skin gets so thin that it cuts and bruises almost without provocation. And it happens so often that you don’t even take the most basic care of it. The other day I was working in the garage when I scraped my arm and of course here came the blood. Not even thinking about bacteria I grabbed the handiest greasy rag to staunch it. After doing so I thought what would Avon say if she knew or what would my nurse neighbor say about that? Giving those questions a little thought I decided that they weren’t going to say anything because they weren’t going to know about it. I would just wait in the garage until the bleeding stopped and then who would be the wiser. But the little niggling question about germs was still there, so I looked for a cleaner greasy rag. Finding none I thought about using sawdust – that should be clean. Then there on a shelf was my answer; a paint rag! No germ could stand up to turpentine. When I stopped jumping around and blowing on my arm I decided that I needed a little first aid kit for the garage.

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High…coming soon… Blue Norther

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

From the kitchen window:

In the fall of year the hummingbirds are trying to fatten up for the trip to Central America. They have to fly across 500 miles of open water non-stop, which is good because there is no place to stop. Anyway they get really aggressive and possessive at the sugar water feeders. There is usually one who guards it and fights the rest. Sometimes it is almost like a dance without music and sometimes they will buzz each other with intent to do real harm. Four females have run off the little male who used to feed there, several weeks ago. So when I see them starting their maneuvers I yell, “GIRL FIGHT!” and run to the kitchen window. They are really awesome, now if I could only get them to do that in some mud or tapioca pudding I could sell tickets. 

What I do when I'm not blogging or working on a book.

In Hot Pursuit  16 x 20 Acrylic on board

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High…coming soon… Blue Norther

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Has this ever happened to you?

            Have you ever been walking along minding your own business and come to the top of a hill where you pause to take a deep breath… and inhale a bug? And as you are choking, gagging, and trying to get that thing out of there you keep wondering what kind of bug it is. It doesn’t matter…. it’s a bug.

            Have you ever been using a string trimmer in your yard and hit a pile of dog poo, which of course splatters you?  Your first thought is @*??^?##! That is quickly followed by whose dog did that, which is quickly followed by @*??^?## again….. always trust your first instinct. 

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High…coming soon… Blue Norther

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Another thing that makes me smile:

            I love big greasy hamburgers; so big that they would hang out beyond the oversized bun. I used to get burgers like that at a drive-in in Belleville, IL known only as “20 th Street”. They were fried on a grill with the bun singed and greasy, and absolutely no concern about what it was doing to arteries or anything else. 2 slices of cheese were standard whether you asked for them or not. Your only option was the onions, so if you were with a date you could order without – they were sensitive to young love. Ask for lettuce and tomato they would say, “Ya wanna salad? Go to a restaurant.” It was also a great place to sober up before going home.

I was asked by a friend, why I price my books so low...$ 0.99. I told him that was in case I wanted to read one, I could generally afford a buck.

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High…coming soon… Blue Norther

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

A gold mine of an idea:

            I’m terribly sorry that my back-pocket ballpoint idea was such a flop, and that several of you lost your life’s savings on the investment, but I have gone back to the drawing board for yet another stroke of genius. My plan is to Freeze Dry water and put it into capsule form. Imagine, not having to carry around those plastic bottles of water. When you need a drink drop the capsule into a container and just add water… voilla! How simple is that? 

Now, I’m talking about some real investment opportunities here, folks. A couple hundred thou’ could get you in on the ground floor. This thing will make ZILLIONS!

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High…coming soon… Blue Norther

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Don’t Sit Under the Apple Tree:

            At least don’t sit under my apple tree. Not unless you have plenty of mosquito repellent and some netting, you will also need a club to fight off the ants. About 17 or 18 years ago, the lovely Avon brought home a stick with a few leaves and a root ball attached at their respective ends, and proudly proclaimed it to be an apple tree. She told me the name of the apples and then we each promptly forgot what it was – I just called it Bob the apple tree. The first few years it did nothing and then it started to produce apples, which because they were un-sprayed and un-cared for were spotted, wormy, and buggy – uh organic? I gave the apples to our wonder horse Red the un-ridable demon mustang. He would snort at me as if to say, “I’ll take your spotty apples, eat your hay, poop in your field, but if you get out that saddle I am going to try and kill you." He meant it.

            A few years back our daughter in law’s father picked and ate one of the spotted greenish reddish things and proclaimed it GOOD! Our neighbors verified that they were GOOD! In 15 years we had never eaten any – not one. I picked one and carefully cut out the spots and sure enough those things were fantastic. The tree has always been loaded and now we are eating apples, making applesauce, drying apples, and baking some things with apples. 

            The moral of this story is that many a fine treat has been left to rot on the ground because we were afraid to eat a worm.

Life is good.... I'm for continuing it.

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – Ace High…coming soon… Blue Norther

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts

Did You Know:

Did you know that in the wild most of the higher levels in the animal kingdom either mate for life or have their own unique breeding system to assure the survival of the best genes? There are animal harems led only by the best bull, the alpha male and female system, and of course the one male to one female for life system. Female elephants will often choose their first few son-in-laws because those teenage girls are hormone driven and don’t know what the hell they are doing. But the darling little humming birds have their own way of doing things. Boys will be boys and will go for what they can get. The girls on the other hand are just plain naughty bordering on wanton. Those little princesses have the attitude that if one is good then two or three would be great. The DNA mix in a clutch of eggs must be like a Chinese puzzle.

You’re going to learn some things from this blog, which will be of absolutely no value to you – welcome to my world.

Books by Lou Bradshaw available on Amazon Kindle

 A Fine Kettle of Fish – Hickory Jack – Blue – and now… Ace High

Visit me on Facebook Lou Bradshaw Artist – Author or www.facebook.com/loubradshawarts